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Sunday, 03 January 2010

Forgiveness

"There is a woman who was married to a pastor. It was a happy family. Some people say they were family of sic, others ays they were eleven The woman was away and when she returned she saw how the Interahamwe were butchering her children on the ground along with her husband. "

"After the war, the man who murdered her family came back from the Congo, and when the gacaca (village jury/court system) called him to explain what he had been accused of, he said, "I accept everything I have been charged with and from the depth of my heart, I apologize."

"The woman said, I was everything happen. I know you killed my family. I love my children and my husband. I am alone., I have nothing, but I now choose to forgive you and take you into my home. You will live with me, and I will do whatever it takes to make you feel like my own son."

Here is a story from the Rwandan genocide. When I read this, I was amazed. What makes us able to forgive? What overcame this woman's hate for this man that she wanted to bring him in as one of her own child?

Reading stories like this break my heart. What have we become? Families are now broken because a wife is unable to forgive her husband. Children refuse to come home because of the hate they have for their families. How can we live a life of hatred for our own flesh and blood when there are others who forgive the murderers of their families?

Forgiveness is not easy. It takes more to forgive than to hate. Forgiveness is allowing those who hurt us back into our lives. It is easy to hate, to hold a grudge. The true strength of a person shows with their ability to forgive and love those who hurt us.

Friday, 15 August 2008

J-Gen
well this J-Gen like I said before was ReACTION. I liked the theme. really this is BY FAR one of the best J-Gen's for myself. The after affect of this J-Gen is so different. I feel as if the hole in my heat has been healed and my heart is starting to beat again. My heart, to me, no longer feels like a black hole or a stone but rather a flower ready to bloom or something. cheesy example. Really amazing.
The seminars that I took this year were REALIZE: beyond me and REDEEM: arts and worship. Although I did not sign up for REALIZE, it was by God's grace that there was a mess up and my small group was forced to go to this seminar.
REALIZE: Beyond me was a seminar that dealt with selfishness. The speaker was amazing. What he had to say wasn't rebuking but rather helped us to realize how to break this selfishness and overcome our selfishness. I realized that I am very forunate to be where I am and live where I live. By taking htat for granted i am being selfish. Instead of trying to do my best in the postion God has placed me in, I tend to degrade myself and make myslef feel bad because I am so fortunate. This seminar made me realize that I am being selfish in the aspect that I am not sharing the blessing that i was just naturally put in. I spent all my time sulking, complaing, and hoarding my blessing instead of sharing the blessing with others. I became so blind because I was well off, I failed to see that God put me in this postion so that I can go and share my blessing with those who are in the same postion that I am in.
REDEEM: Arts and woship. Although this seminar was different than what I thought it was suppose to be, it was still and amazing seminar. How the speaker spoke made me look at the talents God has given me in a new way. The speakers Sean and Lois gave me the message that everyone is given talent. It is out choice if we are going to use that talent to gloify God or glorify ourselves. Whether it is through art or dance or plyaing music. All these ways of worship can be molded and shaped into a different form that can evalgelize the good new to others. For example: Lois used her art talent to create a peice that looked like a eye test but really was a bible verse hidden within. Through explaining her pieces to onlookers she was able to share her testimony at the same time. Instead of using her gift of art for herself she detoured her gift to glorify God. The seminar has challenged me to change the way I draw or create. Personally, I feel as if all my art pieces are lacking in some way but now I realize that a meaningand a point of the piece is missing because I have always tried to make the piece look good instead of tryingto send a message.
Again today God showed me another message. I am very selfish. Like many kids I tend to get pissed at my parents when they chastice me for no reason when they get angry or are just in bad mood and take it out on me. But today I realized that my thinking was being very selfish. I kept thinking "wat the freak? why are you pissed off? I haven't done antyhing. why are you pissed off?" I thought only of how they were hurting me instead of thinking of them. God made me realize that the days that my parents are the most angry or the most stressed out. Those are teh days that I need to love them the most. Those are the days that I need to help them the most. Instead of gettin pissed at them equally I need to put aside my anger and realize they aren't pissed for no reason. There is a reason whether or not I know it or not. Instead of being pissed off in return God's love needs to show through. yeah :) it's a bit hard to explain. I need to develope this idea a little more XP

Friday, 08 August 2008

   Well I just came back from J-Gen. It was absolutley amazing. This year's theme was ReACTION. Basically it was a combination of React and Ation. To me it meant. React; the intial emotional response to a certain event or your first thoughs. Action; the physical response to an event or happening. Combined it meant. Based off of the event your emotions are there and based off the emotions (and of course the holy spirit) one goes and takes action. Like if there is a video about a fire in cali. You feel hurt and want to do something but instead of just thinking "I want to do something" You actually get up and do it. To me this is wat my christian faith was like. I felt the power of God and my heart was moved, but I didnt get up to do anything. I just let the passion in my heart stay there and I phsyically did not spread his word or do any actions that showed others how great God is to me.
   On a personal note, throughout this year I struggled a lot. I went through a lot of struggles personally and with family and friends. One thing God never failedto show me was HIS love. His Love is just amazing and never ending.
   The day I realized that God truly loved me was at the Chicagoland Youth Revival. He honestly blessed me during that time. He made me realize the love man has to offer is never good enough and never will be good enough. He opened my eyes to see that the love of man is temorary. HIS love is the only love that will remain. From that day, God has never failed to show me how much he loves me. God is truly showing me the father's heart and also is romancing me as well. I came back from missions and i have Daily Bible verses emailed to my account. These were the verses God spoke to me.
James 1:17
"Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows."
Proverbs 5:18-19
"May your fountain be blessed,
       and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth.
A loving doe, a graceful deer-
       may her breasts satisfy you always,
       may you ever be captivated by her love."
Song of Solomon 4:1
"How beautiful you are, my darling!
       Oh, how beautiful!
       Your eyes behind your veil are doves."
Proverbs 31:10-12
"A wife of noble character who can find?
       She is worth far more than rubies.
Her husband has full confidence in her
       and lacks nothing of value.
She brings him good, not harm,
       all the days of her life."
Genesis 2:18
"The LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.""
1 Corinthians 13:4-7
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres"
   Truly God is romancing me everyday. I stuggle with self esteem and I usually always put myself down. But here is God telling me. You are Beautiful and I delight in you. Seriously coming back from J-Gen he still shows he how much he loves me. By his Love I can be set free. In this world there are so many different ideas of love that are conditional and nothing. But God has shown me what true love is. It feels amazing. His love is a commitment not based on emotions or anything like that. His love is Solid, Everlating and Filling. It is by God's Love and HIS love alone that I feel truly free.
This freedom comes from the fact that God knows my faults and knows my sins and yet chooses to love me and send his son to die for me. God basiclaly told me that because I love you with all your faults and flaws that is what makes me free. I don't need to feel this burden of "I am not what God has planned me to be" in actuallity that is false. I am everything God wants me to be or else he would not have let the events in my life happen the way they did. I thank him. My putitng me through trials and suffering he is showing me he loves me <3
I personally feel free because God loves me even thou he knows I am not pure, innocent or even good. He knows I am a sinner and the stuggles I deal with. His love shows me that the chains of sin hold me down, yes but it is my HIS love that the chains are broken and I am FREE.
It is my GOD's love and his love alone that has broken my chains of sin and have set me free.
Freedom feels so good, but FREEDOM in God is even better.